Many years ago, I visited several times with a man named Edgar Jackson. Edgar was a pastor, a research scientist in behavioral pathology, and a published authority on grief. He was also a mystic and spiritual healer. Experiences that many people dismiss as nonsense were commonplace for Edgar, and he used the rigor of a... Continue Reading →
Patience
Love is patient. – Paul the Apostle Patience— (n) the capacity to endure delay and distress without becoming angry, or any of the euphemisms we commonly employ to pretend we aren’t angry, such as frustrated, irritated, and annoyed. “Standing in line at a register behind someone fumbling for eighteen cents in exact change, I was... Continue Reading →
The Silent Song
Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. - Anonymous One Saturday night, many years ago, I attended a dinner party hosted by a married couple in one of my churches. Since I didn’t know the other invitees, after we were seated, the wife made... Continue Reading →
Pretending To Be Human
When things get tense, when I start taking my work a bit too seriously, I remind myself that I’m only pretending to be a human being. -Alan Arkin[1] My first job in the substance abuse field was as an off-hours counselor in a twenty-eight-day alcohol rehab. I supervised residents through the weekend hours when there... Continue Reading →
What Belongs To Us
When I worked in substance abuse counseling, I quickly learned the difficulties involved. People in early recovery can be grumpy, horny, enjoy power struggles, and frequently fail to make it beyond the word “early.” In my five years as a counselor in an outpatient clinic, I saw one client three different times. On his fourth... Continue Reading →
The Nameless One
The Tao that can be told of is not the eternal Tao; the name that can be named is not the eternal name. The Nameless is the origin of Heaven and Earth; the Named is the mother of all things. – Lao Tzu[i] One day, while shepherding sheep somewhere in the Sinai desert, Moses saw... Continue Reading →
Love Is A Verb
Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he/she incurred the disorder. -Ambrose Bierce In his book, The Devil’s Dictionary, Mr. Bierce classifies love as a noun, since it identifies a type of mental disorder. People in love have an illness typified by transitory... Continue Reading →
Listening
Even though listening to someone is a foundation for any loving relationship, the act of listening is surprisingly difficult. We could even say, like unconditional love, that paying full attention to another person is not a natural human behavior. Instead, due to our egos and their constant yammering, we usually pay more attention to ourselves... Continue Reading →